when you have a conversation with someone and it goes like...
Person: hey how are you today
Me: oh im okay
Person: why just okay?
Me: oh my depression is acting up and im really anxious
Person: ohhhhhhhhhhhhh okay but like, I dont get it your life is great
Me: *eye roll*
That's how a typical conversation usually goes when you "confess" your true feelings to someone who either doesn't understand or who has never experienced a mental illness.
I used to never use the words "mental illness" because I thought it was wrong, and I thought I would be deemed crazy if I admitted that I had an illness in my brain.
Scared of judgement, scared of people thinking I'm weird, unstable, less than, and weak because something isn't right with my brain and serotonin and dopamine levels.
NEWS FLASH!!!!
having a mental illness is totally okay, and identifying with it is also totally okay.
Getting help is okay.
Talking about it is okay.
Crying is okay.
Laying in bed for a day with Netflix is okay.
Suffering in your own mind is not okay.
I am not my mental illness, I am Sameera.
I suffer from anxiety and depression, but that is not me. It is a small part of me.
I am a college student, a friend, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a runner, a photographer, a writer and I will become many many more things throughout my life.
I got help, so what? That doesn't make me weak. It makes me feel strong because I took my health into my own hands and chose to not suffer anymore.
I stopped letting people define me, society define me, and I stopped letting myself define me by something that is so small in my big life.
I am Sameera, I have a mental illness, and I am proud. I am proud to be me. And I am proud of who I am. Without this, my life wouldn't be the same. And it wouldn't have opened so many doors and allowed me to become friends with so many amazing people.
Stay true to yourself, get the help you want and need, and embrace who you are; mental illness and all. It doesn't change anything <3
No comments :
Post a Comment