the art of being alone

*gasp*

the word alone often triggers anxiety in a lot of us. we fear being alone. being along is usually a last option for most of us...but why?

why do we despise being alone?

as someone who has been alone most of my life (except for an 11 month long relationship) i can tell you that i, myself have struggled with this concept of being alone and also desiring for someone to be in my life.

but can there be a happy medium between being alone (and enjoying it) while also having someone in your life?

can you fully accept being alone, and be happy and content with it?

are we meant to be alone?

what is the definition of alone? does it mean not having a significant other, although we have family, friends, and others that are in our everyday life?

i think the art of being alone starts with being comfortable going places alone. this means shopping alone, driving alone, eating alone, and being able to feel content doing it.

today i ate at a restaurant for the first time by myself and it was very liberating. previously i was always afraid of judgement or looks or people thinking i was a loner, but today i let all of those things go and it ended up being such a great experience.

i think being content being alone has to also involve the acceptance of being alone in this present season in life, knowing very well that this season will not last forever.

nothing lasts forever, so being alone wont, as will being with someone. its the ebs and flows of life, and you really have to accept it, go with it, and enjoy each moment even though it is difficult and hard.

the art of being alone also involves being okay with sleeping alone. being content with having your space as yours, and accepting it. personal space is very precious, and i know i value my personal space and only let those who i feel are deserving and worthy of coming into it.

this also allows for boundaries, and when boundaries are in place you are much less likely to give in, or give up things.

the art of being alone means that you fully embrace those lonely feelings and nights. you embrace them full force. when these feelings come about, you listen to them. you ask yourself why you feel this way, you be honest with yourself. even if that means crying, you let it out. getting past something or improving on something means feeling it, talking about it, recognizing it, and moving on from it. its the best way to heal, forgive, and move on from these hard, negative, and often depressing feelings.

the art of being alone is recognizing that you arent actually alone. yes you might not have a significant other, but are you really alone? do you have family, friends, and other that care for you in your life? if the answer is yes, then you really arent alone. see, this is a different way of looking at it. embrace these relationships. often times we dont, and we regret it later.

the art of being alone also means that you value yourself. when you can value being alone, you value yourself, your space, and your life. you value your hobbies, your job, and you have put forth future value on what you will have one day when you are no longer alone.

being alone is not a bad thing. it is actually very great. it takes time to learn the art of being alone, and even when you learn it, there are still obstacles. this is life. feel it. embrace it. and know that nothing is permanent. it does the heart good.

xoxo

sam